How to take my money

A few years ago I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about something related to economics and consumer behavior.  I don’t really remember the particular details of it, but I remember one of her conclusions was “you guys are evil,” mainly referring to the ability of marketers and advertisers to hone in on customers’ preferences and (according to her) make them buy things they don’t really need.  Of course, I couldn’t really sympathize with her (aside from the fact that I’m an MBA)  because I love the fact that marketers and advertisers can sell me something that seems that it was made just for me.  However, at that time, I was completely unaware of personas or any other techniques used to figure out customers.  Now that I am armed with some of this knowledge, I wonder if I explained these techniques to my friend today if she would find marketers and advertisers even more evil.

Ok, let me get back on track because this post isn’t about my musings about what my friend thinks.  So I reviewed the cohort vignettes to see which one really captured me.  I couldn’t help and chuckle when I saw how miserably they failed in doing so.  Fine, maybe I’m saying this because of an unconscious desire to want to feel so unique and special that a silly bullet-point description and a pencil sketch couldn’t possibly capture my true essence.  But hey, my horoscope does an excellent job so why can’t these things?

Anyway, I’ll give it a go with the empathy map and figure out a way to get those marketers to sell stuff to me. 

One – What do you think and feel?

I think about Nietzsche, Hayek, Marx, and profound philosophical questions . . . just kidding, I don’t think about these things at all.

I don’t have a complicated answer to this, I think about my family and friends most of the time.  They’re “what really counts.”  Because of this, my “major preoccupations” and “worries and aspirations” mainly revolve around them.  I always want to make sure I maintain good relationships with my friends and family because without them, I’d be lost.

Two – What do you see?

I see way too much stress in my environment as an MBA student.  Jobs and grades.  That’s all everyone seems to care about.  Did my classmates forget they’re on a two-year vacation from the daily corporate grind?  I did five years of it and I’m not rushing to go back.  Plus, how about all the awesome learning we’re doing?

Something funny about my environment though is the preponderance of undergrads.  I went to a small private school as an undergrad so it’s amazing to see the volume of people at this enormous university.  Wow, was I that young-looking once?

But hey, thank goodness for my friends though.  They’re always chill despite the overflowing stress levels.  That’s why they’re my friends in the first place.

So now I have to say something about what the market offers? I don’t know.  iPads, Kindles, Lady Gaga, Cee Lo Green – this is what the kids like these days, right?  However, what I do know is that I love the beer section at Whole Foods.  Sierra Nevada just released a new beer in the style of barley wine. And when I don’t want beer, there’s always an Old-Fashioned, a simple, classic, all-American drink.

Three – What do you say and do?

Last week we had a mobile telecommunications company come to campus and present to us about how amazing the company is. In the Q&A session, I asked the presenter a tough question about content development for phones and asked him how they planned to innovate in this area.  I got a defensive pseudo-answer from him and definitely was not invited to interview.  Tough loss for them, but then again, I’m not interested in working for a company that can’t give me a frank and honest answer.

Frank and honest.  This is how I carry myself in public. I may not have the greatest social tact, but at least you’ll know what I’m thinking.

Appearance wise, I dress like a hipster sometimes.  I don’t see anything wrong with this. I love my black, thick-rimmed glasses.

My behavior toward others is consistent.  People deserve respect so I try my hardest to give it to them.  Sometimes I come off as brusque when interacting with others.  Again, this is mainly attributable to being frank and honest, but I do realize when I act like this and I’m always working to improve.

Four – What do you hear?

Tying to the theme above, my friends always tell me they appreciate my honesty.  They also like to confide in me because I listen and don’t gossip about them. Also, I may not give great advice, but that fact that I just sit and listen is enough for them.

My bosses appreciate that I can make sense of large amounts of information.  They also really appreciate that I take time to develop the people below me.  They don’t appreciate that I’m terrible at my administrative duties.  No, I don’t want to make a client file and why do I need to send out that invoice?  We need to hire a billing manager.  My time is better served actually serving clients.

And what do my influencers say? I don’t know who my “influencers” are supposed to be in this context.  I’m going to say my parents though and they’ll tell you to “watch out.”

Five – What are your pain points?

Fears? I’m going to be one of those people and say that I don’t really have any.

Frustrations?  I have plenty of these.  Overall though, I get frustrated with being forced to do administrative things or follow policies and procedures that impede my ability to do the things I really want.

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Obstacles? Hierarchy, especially in the workplace.  I always find myself butting heads with people who live and breathe hierarchy.  For my generation, hierarchy is irrelevant.

Six – What do you hope to gain?

Man still has to toil for his food, unfortunately, well at least I do, but at least it’s behind a computer screen and not in a field. Aside from my need for eating delicious snacks, I would be content not doing much of anything. I like to read a lot and take nap in public parks, but again, there’s the whole feeding myself issue that requires labor and precludes me from doing so on a regular basis.

With respect to measuring success, I feel only people in Western culture are people obsessed with doing so.  All I can tell you is that I’m already pretty successful. I have family and friends that love me so that’s all I really need.  So I guess the only real obstacle in the way of having my family and friends love me is my own self.  Wow, I better not mess up.

Now that I’ve figured myself out, this is what my persona would be.

Juan, single, easy-going male

Meet Juan.  He left his high-paying corporate job to become a zero-income graduate student.  No worries though, he’s probably going to leave graduate school and become a successful entrepreneur.  If things don’t work out, that’s ok because corporate America already has a job ready for him.  He’s both his boss’ darling and worst nightmare.  Clients love him, but HR is always on his back for not completing his compliance training.

Juan has a standing brunch date with his parents every Saturday.  He never misses unless he’s travelling to Brussels to negotiate a contract for the small beer importation business he runs on the side.

Juan a sneaker-phile and has a pair to match any of the vintage t-shirts he may be wearing.  The sneakers he’s wearing today are one-of-a-kind because they were never sold at stores.  His friend who is a designer at New Balance always sends him prototypes.  The vintage shirt is vintage by virtue of being one he’s had since middle school.

The only way to get Juan’s loyalty to establish a relationship with him.  How is your product or service offering going to do that?